Sometimes I do a Friday confessions but I don’t really have a lot to confess. What I do have, in spades, is a lot of random thoughts on a lot of random things. Of course, none of these are of any real importance but since I am a blogger, and must give you each and every one of my thoughts on every thing under the sun, because I’m a special snowflake. Kidding. And, they are in list form, naturally. Hashtag I love lists.

1.Why is it that as runners we are so proud of our poop? We talk about it constantly. I don’t think any other sports revere the poo as much as we runners. And on the flip side, at least at my office, everyone pretends they don’t poop. We use a secret bathroom and try not to let any know we went in there. It’s like I’m living a double life. Morning Runner Beth who poops to the high heavens and brags about it and Desk Jockey Beth who has no bodily functions at all.

2. I was reading Runner’s World and a quote (pulled from his Twitter account) by Casimir Foxsom stuck out to me. I think this may be print worthy and hang in your cube/corner office/I-hate-you-if-you-get-to-work-from-home-fridge. “There’s a time and a place for “good luck,” but hearing “Go show everyone how hard you’ve worked” means a lot more.”

3. Pretzels without salt are crap. I LOVE those peanut butter filled pretzels which is odd because I don’t love peanut butter. Come to think of it, sometimes I eat them and take the peanut butter out… Anyway, I had bought those for a work snack a few weeks ago and a super kind co-worker noticed and bought me some, but the unsalted. He thinks that I’m healthy because I run. Little does he know. Needless to say, pretzels without salt are just not the same. So, after discussing this with him we bought another bag with salt and mixed the two. Genius!

4. I’ve said this before, I think, but I wish we could trade the lives of scumbags for our loved ones. Like any murderer will trade places with someone else who was a way better person upon their death. I have no idea how the exchange would work out, but I feel like I’m on to something here. Anyone know anyone who could set this up? Warlock? Witch? Shaman?

5. Every time I do laundry and I fold socks I pretend I’m Dobby from Harry Potter. “Master has given Dobby a sock! Dobby is free!” I’m fairly certain both the S.O. and Lloyd think I’m insane.

6. Speaking of Lloyd Doggler, it’s so GD hot that I am trying to rush him to poop faster. Poor guy. No one yells at me to poop faster. Oh, there goes that poop talk again. I’m not sorry.

7. Taylor Swift and Tom Hiddleston are dating. I guess. Or “canoodling” per the media. I guess they just couldn’t keep it on the Down Low-ki.

8. Why are lanes lines so freakin’ painful? There has got to be a better way to make a lane line that when you slam your arm into it you don’t feel like you need to call an ambulance. We can send a man to the moon but we can’t get a lane line that feels like razor blades?

9. Garmin wearing friends, let’s all write letters to Garmin telling them after we’ve run 10+ milers, we’d like the Garmin to stop telling us to “Move!” the rest of the day. Kthanks.

10. If I fall during my seven mile trail night race tomorrow and no one is around to see it, did I really fall? (P.S. Everyone will hear me cackling if I fall. I have a real problem not laughing when people fall, even at myself. I’m a sucker for slapstick.)

11. I chose 11 because it was my dad’s motorcycle racing number and I will, of course, miss him very much this Father’s Day. Spend the day with your dads. Listen and laugh at their dad jokes. They’ve been compiling those for years and deserve it. Happy Father’s Day!

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